The Endless Chase: Breaking Free from the ‘Never Enough’ Mindset

We all carry emotions, beliefs, and complexities that root deeply in our childhoods, often without us even noticing. Some of these things can be toxic, others empowering, and many are a mix of both—pushing us forward and holding us back in ways we sometimes don’t recognize for years.

My own childhood was unusual in subtle ways, though it took me a long time to see it. Growing up, I assumed my experiences were typical, no matter how privileged or challenging they might have been. I simply accepted the ups and downs as “normal,” not realizing how unique some parts of my journey actually were.

One of the hardest—and, in a way, most formative—aspects was an experimental school program I went through. It felt both like an honor and a burden to be part of it, a mix I didn’t fully understand until recently, during a monthly mastermind session with GrowNau. Through this mastermind, I finally started to piece together how those childhood experiences shaped me, both in how I see success and the often-invisible standards I hold myself to.

In my elementary school, our grades and other “performance stats” were posted on the wall for everyone to see. No other class did this; it was part of an experiment to see how public accountability would affect us. Every day, we all knew exactly where we stood. And while this transparency had its merits, it also came with a hidden cost I wouldn’t understand for decades. Publicly measured like that, I grew up with an ingrained drive to keep climbing, to stay at the top—even if only for a fleeting moment. I didn’t know then that the list was manipulated so none of us could stay at the top for long. As kids, we just kept pushing, kept trying harder and harder, with no idea that we were chasing an illusion.

It wasn’t until much later that I understood how this experience had instilled a mindset in me that “good enough” was never actually good enough. This mindset can be a double-edged sword. On one hand, it fuels a desire to always grow and improve. I wake up every day asking myself, “How can I be 1% better?” and I believe there’s real value in that kind of self-reflection. But I’ve also come to realize that the only real “scorecard” that matters is the one we create for ourselves. Each day, it’s not about outdoing others or reaching an imaginary top—it’s about whether we did better than we did yesterday. And if the answer is yes, then we’ve earned a gold star on our own, personal report card.

This is my commitment, here and now, to breaking that cycle. I know those feelings will still come up—it’s a deeply ingrained, emotional response shaped by years of believing that even my best wasn’t “enough.” Growing up, I often felt that even when something was impressive or remarkable, it still didn’t quite measure up. That mindset has driven so many of my actions since. But from this moment forward, I’m choosing to recognize when this familiar pattern starts to take hold. I can acknowledge it for what it is, see it clearly, and learn to work around it instead of letting it drive me.